kristin has been a bad kristin
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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