In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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