No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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