What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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