I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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