Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
