I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
