Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
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