is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Randomize