I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
