you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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