He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
where am i from again
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
