Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
