I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
