p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
