I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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