He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
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