We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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