I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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