I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
