I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
