i jhust puked up my retainher.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
