hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Randomize
