I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
