I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
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