Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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