I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
