Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize