I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
