omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
