The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
