I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
