I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
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