I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize