He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
false alarm. still invincible.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
The feeling are messing with the penis
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize