everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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