Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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