this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You ruined the universe
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
