Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
now i know why i became what i already was.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
