There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
