the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
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i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
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No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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