Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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