A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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