Don't make out with my wife yet
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
