that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
