there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are never too drunk for berry picking
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize