just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
