Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
