I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
