He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
