I feel like I'm in dance class right now
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
