theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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