$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
