the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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