do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize