Christians are straight up FREAKS
your room smells of hookers.
And success
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
