pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i wish my penis had a tongue
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
