She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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