Your face is a jimmy john
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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