Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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