with your own penis?
Can i not drive my cunt home
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
