Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
It's Friday. Sex?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
