ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize